My Story | Who is Leonie Henskie Part 5

In this blog I discuss the last few years of events that have been happening in my life and come to where we are today.
Today we discuss, deaths, Joy and sorrow and redundancies.

The next major event in our life was the Christchurch quakes. These affected many people in New Zealand and they affected me because my family lives down there.

Fortunately for my family no one was hurt but the city will never be the same again.  What effected my family most were the aftershocks.  And the ongoing mental and physical damage they did to people.

We, up in Wellington, have no real idea of what they went through. Even though we have always been the city forecast to have the quakes, so have always built above the rest of the country’s code.  When I used to ring my Grandmother, Nan would tell me that she could hear the quakes coming as my parents had got her a dresser where the handles rattled, so she could brace herself for the aftershocks.

April 2011 Brian finally gave up the struggle.  He was in hospital for Easter and I remember Betty told us he really held on until he could receive his Easter communion which was a couple of weeks after Easter because the hospital chaplain was so busy.  The day he received his communion he died that night.  We had been in the hospital earlier in the evening and had seen him then.  This time he had suffered a stroke on top of everything and that was making his limited breathing very hard and he had no concentration for reading which was his life. Betty got the call at about 9.30 that night that the orderlies had just been going to collect Brian to take him back to MAPU ward so he could go on the ventilator and when they got back he had passed.

Brian Photo

When we saw him laid out he was the most peaceful we had seen him for a long time.  He was no longer struggling.  Brian died when Alan had only been in a new role for a couple of weeks but Telecom were great and made sure he had the support he needed.

We went down to Christchurch for the Christmas of 2011 and I caught up with my family . The damage to Christchurch was heartrending.   Alan and I were staying in a motel in Riccarton and were able to walk around and see the damage that had happened.   So many of the landmarks I had grown up with were no longer there, or were damaged beyond repair.

In  2012 we were down in Christchurch again this time to say goodbye to my grandmother, the last surviving grandparent I had, while she was hospitalised for the last time.  I am glad we managed to get to see her one more time before she passed . I was not able to make it to her funeral so once again I did not grieve properly until a later time.

The other big thing that happened to us in 2012 was we met our friend Heni who has made a huge change to our lives.   I have spoken before about how Heni has changed our lives and also how we have changed hers so I will not go into detail here.  If you want to read more about this then read it here .

And one thing that was not so good in 2012 is our cat that we had had for 18 and a half years, and she was 4 and a half, when we got her, finally passed on.  Here is a photo of Spliffy. We knew she was old and getting ready to pass but she managed to hold on until the 15th of February and died in our arms.  She was cremated on the 18th of February which was my birthday.  She was a beautiful cat and a big part of our lives.

After Spliffy passed we got our deck done.  For us this was a major piece of work as we had been in the same property for 20 years and not really experienced any outdoor living space as the front lawn had been a bull nose.  That deck has made such a big difference to us.  Even today while it is raining heavily we have the deck door open so the cats can come in and out at will. Once the deck was complete we introduced Raspberry to our family.  It was the first time we had ever had a kitten so it was a big learning curve for us and watching her grow was amazing.  I have never really been a big photo taker but with Raspberry we have made sure we have had lots of videos and photos of her growing up.

Here is what she looked like when we first met her.

Raspberry 1

 

Things have gone reasonably smoothly since the end of 2012.

We got another cat in early 2014 exactly a year younger than Raspberry and he is called Coffee.

Alan and Coffee

I did a really good contract at Telecom/Spark at the end of 2013 which turned into a permanent role at the beginning of 2014 and life was looking pretty smooth.  Then things started happening around the office.  The first big change was the name change from Telecom to Spark. Then they started restructuring. Alan was in the thick of things and the strain was really showing, he had already survived two other cuts, so when in December 2014 Alan was made redundant he was jubilant.  To him it was an opportunity to start a business of his own and he would have at least 6 months of redundancy to get things going with. As usual I was a mess, crying all the time as I was coming to terms with the fact that for the first time in about 25 years I was going to be the only breadwinner until his company kicked in.

Over the Christmas break I immediately went into action starting to work on a plan B in case anything else happened as once Spark started re-structuring you knew it was going to be an ongoing process.  That is when I came across this business and started doing the training.  I loved what I saw so much and the company really  rang my bell as something I would love to be involved with, that I went all in as soon as I could.  To me it was the best decision I could have done as the training I have done with this company and work on self-development has helped so much this year.

The next thing that happened to us was Alan’s Grandmother passed in her 101st year.  If you want to read more about this I have written about it at the time last year.  You can read it here,  Once again my birthday is now associated with a different event as the funeral was on the 19th of February,  It was at Gran’s funeral that I finally said goodbye to Nan.  So many of the things the speakers were saying about Gran Henskie made me think of my Nan.  My girlfriend who also attended with us found it cathartic for her to finally say good bye to her grandmother and mother as well.

We knew it was coming so when it did it we were a lot more mentally prepared than in the past.  I was made redundant on the 14th August 2015.

Now we had two of us out of work.  Alan’s business was not yet making a sustainable income and neither was mine. And this time around getting a new position was harder than it had been in the past.

I continued to work my business every chance I got and was starting to get more interest all the time. However it could not pay the bills yet.  We thoroughly enjoyed the time we had together.  We were able to go swimming mid-week, spend relaxed time together and get an idea of what life will be like when we are leading the life we really want to.  Just in future there will not be the financial stress.

This year has been a year of learning.  I have met some amazing people online and in person.  I have done some amazing training setting me up for success and life.  I have prepared my mind for success and will continue to do so for the rest of my life.

Everything happens for a reason and just as we were about to fill out the papers seeking government assistance fate steps in the way and I manage to pick up temporary work.  This happens every time so I know no matter what we will be OK.  And the good news is that after a solid 4 months of looking Alan has a contract role starting the 11th of January so we are excited for this year.

This year has been a year of learning.  I have met some amazing people online and in person.  I have done some amazing training setting me up for success and life.  I have prepared my mind for success and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. We have learned to live life to fullest on a budget and I have even managed to help a Kenyan family over the year as well.

The teeshirt at the top of this blog I think says it all.  This was designed by my husband and he is going to re-launch that side soon.  If you do not suffer scrapes and bruises along the way you are not living life.  However you also need to learn from those scrapes and bruises so each time you fall down you can get up again.

I hope that going through my experiences like this has helped you understand a bit more about me. And shown ways I can help you to get through your challenges what ever they might be.  As you can see I have had to deal with grief, Redundancy and illnesses of various sorts over the years so I have a wealth of experience.

Have a great day.  And if you have missed the rest of the series they are available here:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

If anything I have said resonates with you.  Leave a comment below, and catch up with me on FaceBook.  I would love to chat.

 

 

My Story | Who is Leonie Henskie part-4

This was my first overseas trip since my 21st so I was really excited. We flew to Brisbane and then caught the train to Surfers Paradise where we had an apartment for a week. We did three days of Conference meeting many of the leaders and picking up lots of information not just on the business itself but that could be transferred to life in general. When the Conference was over we then had the most amazing holiday.

Here is the next part of my story.  I hope that some of my experiences will help others.

I worked at home for 10 years.  The reason for that was we were hoping to start a family, however that did not happen.

I decided I wanted to go back to work again so I could socialise with people again because over the time I had been at home all my friends were working as well as Alan so I  did not have any one to socialise with and not having children I was not involved in any young mother’s groups.

When I decided I wanted to return to the workforce a role came up at EDS where Alan was working at the time. It was an administration role looking after a number of department heads so it was right up my alley. I just love making life easier for other people, organising their diaries and doing all the nitty gritty tasks to make life easier for managers. I did this for about a year until I was offered a role as a Project Facilitator. Project facilitator was a EDS specific role but was basically project Administrator. This was my first introduction to Projects and I loved it. I was looking after a team of about 10 Project Managers and was doing all the quality control and programme coordination for the support projects. It was great for me to be working again and I had a great time.

But all this normality was about to change.

It turns out that the second part of 2007 was going to be a big year for us.

At that stage we were working with a multi level company called ACN and we had the opportunity to go to Surfers Paradise, Australia for a Conference.

This was my first overseas trip since my 21st so I was really excited.

We flew to Brisbane and then caught the train to Surfers Paradise where we had an apartment for a week. We did three days of Conference, meeting many of the leaders and picking up lots of information not just on the business itself, but stuff that could be transferred to life in general. When the Conference was over we then had the most amazing holiday.

Activities we did were going to Jupiters Casino for a show.  The show was called Zingara and one of the amazing things it included was stunt motor-cycle riding. Going to MovieWorld Amusement park where I went on my first roller coaster, even if it was only a child-size one, watching the Police Academy driving demonstration and riding on a log ride where a photo is taken as you come out of the final tunnel descending into a pool of water. We also went shopping, seeing, what was to me, a huge mall called Pacific Fair which was across the road from our apartment. We did a lot of walking and I also got to visit my first Sushi Train restaurant. As we do when we are anywhere we found the local takeaways and shops as well going to the tourist places as well.

 

Our Austrlia Collage

 

During this time Alan had been going to Australia every couple of years for exams and just after we got back from Australia as a couple Alan was going to be  heading back again for an exam about 4 or 5 weeks later.

Alan has a blood condition which means that he is 10% more likely to get blood-clots so he needs to have aspirin for a few days before he flys and wears travel socks for travelling. During the conference we didn’t think about him wearing the socks as we thought we were moving enough, but it appears the accumulation of the conference followed by another trip to Australia and a three hour exam were bad and he should have been wearing the socks during those events.

Because, when Alan got back from Sydney a few weeks later, he started getting a really sore leg that could not be relieved any of the normal ways, so visited the Doctor. Doc took one look, ordered us over to get Ultrasounds, and from those results we were immediately sent to hospital. Alan had Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) below the knee. The hospital gave him one injection and organised for a district nurse to come and teach him how to inject himself. For the next four weeks Alan had to give himself an injection in the stomach everyday until his bloods were stable again. He was confined to the house, and was told specifically that he could only walk from the bedroom, to the kitchen and not outside of the house for six weeks unless he had to attend a medical appointment. Alan was put on Warfarin, and was on it for another year until the medical people were certain that his blood was at a normal clotting level.

During this time one of Alan’s friend was working early shift so was able to visit Alan everyday after his work and also because he was retail he had his weekends midweek so he was able to take Alan to his place from time to time so he was not seeing the same four walls all the time.

Over this time, because of his health issues,  Alan got depression and put on weight and generally got down. So having his friend around was good for him.  Fortunately, Alan  can tell when he is getting depressed and now can work out what he needs to do to get out of the depressive episode.

The other thing that happened was about four weeks after we got back from Australia I noticed that I was getting less and less work to do and a lot of the tasks that I used to do before I went to Australia were not been returned to me. The next thing I was taken aside and told that my job was no longer required. I was made redundant. This was my first time and it hit me hard. Now when I am under stress I cry.  This can be very unfortunate in the workplace because I might be coping pretty well but the simplest thing can set me off crying again.  Fortunately EDS were very good to me and put me through some counselling sessions and through a wonderful re-training and career preparation course which taught me how to write CV’s, Cover letters, and present at interviews. It was a high detail course and to me it was wonderful and I have used its resources time and time again.

It is amazing what you go through when you are made redundant.

I highly recommend that if counselling is available you take up the offer, as you don’t know when things are going to hit you. For me, issues of rejection came out, from a former role.  This counselling let me clear my head so that when I now go from job to job I know it is not rejection of any kind, just that that job is finished now and I can move on.  When you are highly stressed all kinds of baggage can come out.   As a result of the counselling and the training before I finished at EDS I had another job to go to. Fortunately for me on this timeline I went through the redundancy before Alan’s DVT was revealed.

This was the beginning for me of multiple jobs, Temping, Fixed Term Contracts, Contracts and even permanent roles. So I am used to finishing roles and moving onto the next one. Things were going reasonably smoothly for the next period of time. I was changing jobs often so getting good at interviews and working my way through the change of job each time.

We were still visiting hospital regularly for various family members. Betty had a dose of Bowel Cancer. Had the operation to fix it and chemotherapy and now has been cancer free for a few years now. Gran Henskie was admitted to hospital for Pneumonia a couple of times and was never the same again. And Alan had an operation that his blood specialist made clear was for health not vanity to remove his varicose veins. And Brian was gradually getting worse with more and more hospital visits but he was still going strong.

More to follow in the next post

To read the rest of my story please read the posts that have come before this one.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

To get to know me personally please contact me on Facebook.  If anything I have said has struck a chord please leave a comment below and share this blog.

Millionaire mind | Wealth Files Part 6

If something bad happens to you e.g. a redundancy do you look at it as an obstacle or an opportunity?

Rich people see potential growth and they focus on rewards. Poor people see potential loss, and focus on the risks.

Millionaire Mind | Wealth Files

 

This is the sixth post on things I have learned from “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind”

Last post I talked about the first four Wealth Files.  Today I am going to talk about the next three.
These Wealth Files  are from ‘Secrets of the Millionaire Mind” by T Harv Eker

Wealth File #5
Rich People Focus on Opportunities. Poor People focus on Obstacles

If something bad happens to you e.g. a redundancy do you look at it as an obstacle or an opportunity?

Rich people see potential growth and they focus on rewards.  Poor people see potential loss, and focus on the risks.

Poor people generally make choices based on fear, their minds are constantly scanning for what is wrong or could go wrong in any situation.  Their primary mind-set is what if it doesn’t work? Or more often, “It won’t work.” Middle class people are slightly more optimistic.  Their mind-set is “I sure hope this works.”

Rich people expect to succeed, they have confidence in their abilities, creativity and believe that if stuff goes wrong they will find another way to succeed.

Rich people focus on what they want, while poor people focus on what they do not.  Remember what you focus on expands.  Because rich people focus on the opportunities in everything, opportunities abound for them.

Your field of focus determines what you find in life.

For me when I was made redundant I focussed on it as an opportunity.  For me it was a chance to put some serious work into this business, doing blogging etc.  It was also an opportunity for me to experience to some degree the life I want to lead of freedom.  Now work opportunities are coming my way so I will not have the freedom again but will keep working on that in my own time.

Harv Eker says if you want to get rich focus on making, keeping and investing your money.  If you want to be poor, focus on spending your money.

Rich people do research quickly, and then take action.  Poor people are known to do the research and then keep doing the research without ever taking action.

Rich people trust that once they are in the game they can make intelligent decisions in the present moment, make corrections, and adjust their directions along the way.

Wealth File #6
Rich People admire other rich and successful people.  Poor people resent rich and successful people.

How do you look at rich people?  Do you look at them and want to associate with them and learn from them or do you think they are bad in some way?  If you think rich people are bad you will never be rich.  You need to change that mental programming.

Me, personally I am loving my association with rich people and am soaking up as much of their knowledge as I possibly can. When I look back at my history my husband and I have always been around rich and successful people.  Over the years we have met some very rich people, and our first real introduction was our first multi-level marketing company. We have always enjoyed spending time with the top earners and have made an effort to do so in every other business we have been associated with.  To me rich people are my mentors, they have done it, so I am going to follow in their footsteps as much as possible.

The truth is resenting the rich is one of the surest ways to stay broke.  Instead of resenting the rich we need to start admiring the rich blessing them and loving them.  That way when you become rich other people will admire you, bless you and love you instead of resent the heck out of you the way you might do them now.  One of the sayings in in Hawaii based on old Huna Wisdom is

“Bless that which you want.  If you see a person with a beautiful home, bless that person and that home.  If you see a person with a beautiful car, bless that person and bless that car. If you see a person with a loving family, bless that family and bless that person.  If you see a person with a beautiful body bless that person and bless their body.  In other words Bless that which you want”

 

Wealth File #7
Rich People Associate with positive, successful people.  Poor people associate with negative or unsuccessful people

Take a look at the people around you.  What sort of people are they? Do they celebrate the success of others or do they put down their success?

Harv Eker says the fastest and easiest way to create wealth is to learn exactly how rich people, who are masters of money, play the game.  The goal is simply model their inner and outer strategies.  If you take the exact same actions and have the exact same mind-set, chances are good you will get the exact same results.

Here is Harv’s answer if the loved ones you are closest too are negative

“First don’t bother trying to get negative people to change. That’s not your job.  Your job is to use what you have learned to better yourself and your life.  Be the model, be successful, be happy, then maybe – and I stress Maybe- they’ll see the light (in you) and want some of it.  Again, energy is contagious.  Darkness dissipates in light. People actually have to work hard to stay “dark” when light is all around them.  Your job is simply to be the best you can be.  If they choose to ask the secret, tell them.

Second keep in mind another principle that is taught in another of Harv’s courses “everything happens for a reason and that reason is there to assist me.” Yes it is difficult to be positive and conscious around people and circumstances that are negative, but that’s your test! Just as steel is hardened in the fire, if you can remain true to your values while others around you are full of doubt and even condemnation, you’ll grow faster and stronger”

Did you know that most people earn within 20% of the average income of their closest friends?  That’s why you’d better watch whom you associate with and choose whom you spend your time with carefully.

“If you want to fly with the eagles, don’t swim with the ducks”

Rich people hang around with winners.  Poor people hang around with losers.  Why? It’s a matter of comfort

 

If you like what you are reading here please share this post and comment below.  I would love to hear from you.

If you want to start associating with Rich people like I do, join me so we can both be rich and change the world together.